Emotions

When you say 1+1=2, I think firstly what's 1? what's the other 1? and I even think how is it adding up? why the adding? why is it 2 and only 2? In fact what exactly is 2? Well this often occurs in my mind because I am like that. I read into things probably more than I am supposed to. Because for me, it only makes sense after a profound understanding. This is how I get going. This is how I find meaning in the smallest things, gestures from strangers, close friends, family and even my messed up relationships. It all started with the fact that I grew up making sense of my own story. I never had to be taught how to be emotionally balanced. I would cry without a shoulder to lean on, I would feel the pain without anybody telling me to stop. It turned out to be like a tunnel now. The more I sink in, the more I feel the need to find the light. I am lost,  am curious, I am suspicious. Can I? Should I? Yes? No? why not? it's part of my emotional vocabulary. If you telling me that "this is this" do not expect me to take it as a "this." Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Oh well I have read numerous things that talk about my personality type, and believe it or not, it all makes sense when it says that " for Cancer, (Zodiac sign) those will always seek affection, love and compassion, very dependable and often expect just as much as they give to others." Now I decided, it is always a good thing for me, but I get hurt easily. I find pleasure in my own "comforted emotional zone" if I can call it that way. Do not ask me to feel less, to be less dramatic, emotional, sympathetic and all. As I said before, I wish somebody made me stop crying when I felt lonely for the first time. Welcome to my world, a simple "hi" turned out to be "love" on my side.